FUZZY MACHETE

Dumbass

I always thought of you as king of the hill
you had the coolest dirt bike that I'd ever seen
and mad DDR skillz
You put the Sons of Butcher on your myspace page
when they were total unknowns
I guess back then I might've been impressed
but I guess I've grown
I saw you hurt yourself on youtube
Now that I know what a loser you are I'm better off on my own.

You took two diet cokes and a package of mentos
a six pack of beer and some tangerines
You duct taped knives to the ends of your knunchucks
and jumped off your sister's trampoline
I don't know what you thought you could do with that tennis ball machine
or why you soaked your shoes in gasoline
I saw you hurt yourself on youtube
Jesus H. Christ that had to be the dumbest 42 seconds that I'd ever seen

Now the whole world is laughing at you
and the way you were gored
You'll live forever on fark.com
and the darwin awards
That was nice of your friend to capture the moment on his cellular phone
The way you broke your leg so badly we could see the bone
I saw you hurt yourself on youtube
My crush is all over with you now I think I'm happier alone.

Enjoy The Ride

Whatever I do the world continues to spin
I wish I could know now the things I used to know then
It's easy to see that time is not on my side
So I might as well lie back
And try to enjoy the ride

Enjoy the ride
Enjoy the ride
Lay back and enjoy the ride
Enjoy the ride

Heaven forgive me for what I've never done
Time sure flies when you're having no fun
No place left to run and nowhere to hide
So I might as well lie back
And try to enjoy the ride

Enjoy the ride
Enjoy the ride
Lay back and enjoy the ride
Enjoy the ride

What the buddah tried to tell us all is easy to see
Whatever place your going is the place you're gonna be
Some things in this life you just don't get to decide
So you might as well Iie back
And try to enjoy the ride

Enjoy the ride
Enjoy the ride
Lay back and enjoy the ride
Enjoy the ride

Enjoy the ride
Enjoy the ride
Lay back and enjoy the ride
Enjoy the ride

Hey Little Fascist

I'll do what I want when I want where I want
and you can't stop me
I don't care what you say anyway go away
cuz I'm not listening
We don't care about your cause
or your laws or applause
we're not impressed with rewards
and we don't fear your claws
we didn't put you in charge and
you're no where as large as you think you are

Hey little fascist don't tell me how to be
What matters to you is not important to me
Go and live your own life and leave me to live mine
Stay out of my business
Stay out of my business
Stay out of my business
and we'll get along just fine

If I want a joke or a smoke or a toke
I'm gonna have it
Whatever you think of my drinks or my kinks
you'll never change me
Its not your call to forestall my next fall
Tear down this wall
I don't need you at all
So save your advice on the price of my vice
Its mostly bullshit

Hey little fascist don't tell me how to be
What matters to you is not important to me
Go and live your own life and leave me to live mine
Stay out of my business
Stay out of my business
Stay out of my business
and we'll get along just fine

Don't wanna stand in your lines pay your fines obey signs
we didn't vote on
We've had enough of the stacks of new tax on our backs
to fund your empire
One day you'll see
we were born to be free
But until you agree
stay the fuck away from me
If you push me enough
I'm gonna have to get rough
This is America, god dammit.

Hey little fascist don't tell me how to be
What matters to you is not important to me
Go and live your own life and leave me to live mine
Stay out of my business
Stay out of my business
Stay out of my business
and we'll get along just fine

I like Bunnies

I, I like bunnies
They make me happy
I, I like bunnies
They help to calm me

You cut me off in traffic
I want to drive over your face
Its way too warm in here
Give me a gun and a can of mace

I, I like bunnies
Their ears are fuzzy
I, I like bunnies
They make me happy

You had thirty things of yogurt
in the express check out line
Just because you're a douche
doesn't mean you get to waste my fucking time

I, I like bunnies
Their feet are hoppy
I, I like bunnies
They help to calm me

This body wash isn't moisturizing at all
I want my four dollars back
The economy is tanking
And this beer is fucking flat

I, I like bunnies
Their tails are fluffy
I, I like bunnies
They make me happy

I'm Awake Now

Sleeping dreaming about clouds and Vincent Price
I've got 3 more hours to spend in bed with Cher and Heidi Fleiss
Stumbling in the dark I'm cool I don't need that light
Til I crash into the table and I've got a decent slice

And I'm awake now
I'm awake now
Searing pain adrenaline
I can't get back to sleep
and I'm awake now
I'm awake now
Could've used a few more hours
guess I'll go and watch tv

Freezing mornings are the worst your feet are cold and dry
to leave your blanket and your lover feels like an antartic goodbye
just have to pee quick then you're back in bed to sleep the night
Then you make contact with the door frame and let out a piercing cry

And I'm awake now
I'm awake now
Searing pain adrenaline
I can't get back to sleep
and I'm awake now
I'm awake now
Could've used a few more hours
guess I'll go and brush my teeth

Its not just that I'm clumsy there are other reasons too
why I'm always running into things like tables doors and shoes
stumbling through the house as the blood in my sock soaks through
Who knew my sword of damacles would be a star wars lego

And I'm awake now
I'm awake now
Searing pain adrenaline
I can't get back to sleep
and I'm awake now
I'm awake now
Could've used a few more hours
guess I'll go do my tai chi.

Mad Skillz

I'm a super hero
Don't you know who I am?
Get dressed every morning
With a magical gem
Save the world each Tuesday
With my sparkling power
Everything is finished
in a half of an hour cuz I got

Mad skillz
With a mystical fire I've got
Mad skillz
I'm a real live wire I've got
Mad skillz
With a seven foot sword
I wield the power of the gods
and dangers my reward

Body of a venus
and the eyes of a child
How can you resist
all of my feminine wiles
Sitting in the classroom
and I try not to stare
You go on ignoring
like I'm not even there but I've got

Mad skillz
With a mystical fire I've got
Mad skillz
I'm a real live wire I've got
Mad skillz
With a seven foot sword
I wield the power of the gods
and dangers my reward

How can you not even recognize me
after all the times I saved your life?
One day you'll realize what you need
One day you'll wanna make me your wife

Unicorns and faeries
talk to me every day
Fight the monsters
while the mastermind runs away
I'm a living legend
but whatever I do
Got my mojo working
but it wont work on you but I've got

Mad skillz
With a mystical fire I've got
Mad skillz
I'm a real live wire I've got
Mad skillz
With a seven foot sword
I wield the power of the gods
and dangers my reward

Mad skillz
With a mystical fire I've got
Mad skillz
I'm a real live wire I've got
Mad skillz
With a seven foot sword
I wield the power of the gods
and dangers my reward

NINJAS vs PIRATES

the fog covers the water in a dark and misty cloud
the crew is sleeping in their quarters but the captains on the bough
he winces, grits his teeth, he's smelling something in the air
experience prepares him for a dubious affair

NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!

a shadow off of starboard catches the corner of his eye
he draws his sword and waits for the intruder to reply
"arr...whoever you are out there you will not live through the night
On my mothers head, you will not take this ship with out a fight."

NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!

Like a wraith from hell a dark figure emerges from the mist
dressed in black and gripping a katana in his fist
Captain says, "We have no quarrel perhaps we could talk this over."
The figure only speaks four words, "You killed my master."

NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!

The captains bellows for the crew, they come running on the deck
more dark figures swarm the hull and swing down from the masts
the ninja slices through the air, his eyes are red and burn.
And thats when the first mate's head slides off and rolls over the stern

NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!

The deck erupts with hate as the battle does begin
seasoned mercenaries, warriors, who will ever win?
The deafening clang of swords and death ring out over the seas.
Blood spatters on the sails and the war gods are appeased.

NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!
NINJAS VERSUS PIRATES!

Leaf on the Wind

A vampire can have a soul
but that soul will never know salvation
cuz' Joss Whedon's an evil god
who delights in tormenting his creation

I can't believe that Wash is dead
He landed safe and then he said
I'm a leaf on the wind, watch me soar
I'm a leaf on the wind, watch me soar
I'm a leaf on the wind
I'm a leaf on the wind,
Watch me soar.

We all need a champion
to guard us from the monsters in the basement
To each generation a slayer is born
She'll die young but we'll get a replacement.

I can't believe that Wash is dead
He landed safe and then he said
I'm a leaf on the wind, watch me soar
I'm a leaf on the wind, watch me soar
I'm a leaf on the wind
I'm a leaf on the wind,
Watch me soar.

Remember how much Dollhouse sucked
I couldn't understand anyone's motivation.
And then the show got really good
Right after FOX announced it's cancellation.

I can't believe that Wash is dead
He landed safe and then he said
I'm a leaf on the wind, watch me soar
I'm a leaf on the wind, watch me soar
I'm a leaf on the wind
I'm a leaf on the wind,
Watch me soar.

I'm a leaf on the wind, watch me soar
I'm a leaf on the wind, watch me soar
I'm a leaf on the wind
I'm a leaf on the wind,
Watch me soar.

Scott Bakula

You had me from the moment you exploded in blue
Woke up in a strange bed and flew the X-2
Helped Jimmy keep his job, stopped Gloria from jumping
Cried when Tom came home, saved Brooke Shields from drowning
Brought Al and Beth back together
Kept praying for a savior
While the whole time
You were saving everyone else

And if you'd be my captain
I'd be your vulcan
and if you'd be my leaper
I would be your hologram
We'd warp into the skies and we would
sail along forever
Scott Bakula you'll always be my
leading man

Years later you reached the stars
on the NX-01
Crossed the expanse and traveled space
farther than anyone
Battled Klingon marauders
helped T-pol find her emotion
stopped the Xindi attack
Beat an Andorian in U'shaan
Saved the earth from disaster
Brought the Federation all together
A diplomat a warrior and a dog lover too

And if you'd be my captain
I'd be your vulcan
and if you'd be my leaper
I would be your hologram
We'd warp into the skies and we would
sail along forever
Scott Bakula you'll always be my
leading man

And I know those are only characters
that you play on tv
But I just wanted you to know
that you mean somthing special to me
Ziggy says theres a 99% chance that you are awesome!

And if you'd be my captain
I'd be your vulcan
and if you'd be my leaper
I would be your hologram
We'd warp into the skies and we would
sail along forever
Scott Bakula you'll always be my
leading man

Seratonin

Serotonin you're my drug of choice
Serotonin let me hear your voice

I'm waiting for another chance for us to be alone
More addictive than a cigarette you're my favorite ice cream cone
you defied the laws of nature and now you must atone
so lock the doors and windows and disconnect the phone

Serotonin getting in my head
Serotonin spinning round my bed.

I'm not asking for it all just something I can keep
You're all I'd ever dream of if I could get to sleep
You've got me in the glory place you've got me way down deep
So now that I'm at a loss for words

And you're always there
and you're always there
And you're aways there
Tony Danza Tony Danza Tony Danza Tony Danza

Serotonin coming on so fast
Serotonin lets forget the past
Serotonin you're free at last
Serotonin what a spell you've cast

Star Trek Style

Come on in, come on in, come on in baby.
Have a seat.
Why don't you take off those heavy boots
while I make you something to eat.
I've been waiting a long time baby,
and we're both off duty tonight.
when you've got a night like tonight, babe
You've just gotta make it right.
So I'm gonna make
love to you
Star Trek style....

That uniform looks hot baby,
let me help you with that collar.
Computer, a little mood music please.
A little spanish guitar.
Maybe something to drink baby?
For this foray to start?
Computer, one cup, earl grey tea..
hot.
Before I make
love to you
Star trek style...

Do you like my Hor'ga statue?
A little thing I picked up on Risa.
Then I'll do that little dance you like
that I learned on Orion.
Computer, a little mood lighting please,
bring it down eleven lumens.
And kiss me baby, kiss me sweet
because passion is only human.
And then we'll make
sweet sweet love
Star trek style...

I'll give you ferengi Oomaks.
Growl at you like a Klingon.
We can pretend it's Pon Far baby
and have it rough like the Vulcans.
I'll be your metamorph baby.
anything you want, anything.
I'm programmed with multiple techniques
a broad variety of pleasuring.
And then we'll make
sweet sweet love
Oh we'll make
sweet sweet love
Star Trek style...

When is the End?

This morning I woke up yet again
the world just right where I left it
the birds singing in the trees
and the grass is green
and the presidents meeting with congress
school is in session
and I've got the impression
todays gonna be the same
Work til 5 every day
for the bills that we pay
until fate helps us find a solution

Where are the zombies?
Where are the meteor showers?
Where are the hellmouths?
Where are the alien takeovers?
When is the end
when you take my hand
and then you kiss me
and then you kiss me

Morning commutes and the coffee salute
all make me want to vomit
Dress like her lust for him
hate a job you can't quit
all to feed the corporate mastication
Will this go on forever
this futile endeavor
day by day month by month year by year
40 hours in a cube
drinking water from a tube
tell me what is it you really fear?

Where are the zombies?
Where are the meteor showers?
Where are the hellmouths?
Where are the alien takeovers?
When will it be
when you wipe the ash from my cheek
and then you kiss me
and then you kiss me

Running through the trees
the wet grass on our knees
You're hunting I'm gathering
We're free
Economic collapse or nuclear dawn
all that matters is you're here with me
We'll fight off the deadites
and bathe in the torchlight
survival self gratification
Civilization is prison
Apocalypse is my freedom
Can you blame my yearn for simplication?

Where are the zombies?
Where are the meteor showers?
Where are the hellmouths?
Where are the alien takeovers?
Where we dance in the wake
of the rubbled cityscape
and then you kiss me
and then you kiss me

Oh when is the end
when you take my hand
and then you kiss me
and then you kiss me?